Snow In April

I must take a moment to thank my PR person as she got on me about my spelling error.  Some may have noticed my blog title has changed from Read Me Please to Ream Me Please.  That is to match the url address.  I know I will make so many mistakes through this process, and it will take those that care to really help me continue to get better.  I want to thank her for being the best PR person in world, and while this is extremely small time for her, her portfolio in the field is unbelievable, and I am privileged and honored to have her help.
My grandmother is an awesome lady.  I point this out because I often see her in her rocking chair, often times about to go to sleep or sleeping.  She is famous for saying things, where you are like where did that come from.  One that always sticks with me is "I Love You A Bushel And A Peck & A Hug Around The Neck."  Until recently, I had no idea who Doris Day was, but I can only imagine she holds a special place in my grandmother's heart.  My grandmother would say that to me all the time growing up.  She always finds a way to push us further.  She reads the paper all the time and loves to go through the sales section.  She is always so different than what is around her, and that is extremely awesome to me.  I still remember her taking me for drives and going maybe a littler faster than you would think was safe, but that was my grandmother always pushing the envelope.  I would have loved to get her a Porsche or some other fast car as I know she would have loved it.  My uncle gave her a sporty Lexus, and I think she used to love that thing.  My grandfather was always a tank driver.  It had to be big and long (for my North Easteners - pause).  My grandmother has never lost her identity - she is who she is.  I can only imagine what she would say about it snowing today.  What's crazy is yesterday the Dogwoods were in full bloom, beuatiful yellow flowers were blooming, the grass was fertilizer green, and this morning - everything covered in white.  Unbelievable!  When my grandfather passed, I was still in high school.  I could not really see or understand what was going on.  Being several years older, I better understand the times we live.  I better understand all the memories.  I better understand the snow in the middle of April.  Reflection is necessary.  By the end of the day, I am sure the green and yellow will be back, and the snow will be gone.  Strength is something I see in her.  I actually have a framed picuture of the Day saying.  I still think Dallas is one of the greatest stories as I still remember watching it with her.  The Young and the Restless will always be in my thoughts as that is one of her favorites.  She always allowed me to grow and prove.  When I was 5, she would allow me to navigate her around the city, whether we got lost or not.  We always somehow ended up where we were trying to go.  I never wanted to make her mad or upset at me.  I still remember playing outside, and if she called and needed something, all sporting events stopped as I had to go check on my grandmother.  Often times, she just needed something quick, but it was always an example of how we should respond in life.  Grandmothers seem to be getting younger and younger, but I appreciate the wisdom of mine and all her experiences.  She had the classic granmother's house, where so many have lived there a time or two.  A 3 bedroom, stone block house about 15 blocks from the beach.  A place where it never snowed in April.  I hope she knows all she he has meant to me.  Better yet, I will end this here as I am going to call her.  I encourage you to do the same.  If it is not your grandmother, it may be someone else, but don't let this moment slip.

Education and Church

Education and Church.  I am going to try to do this.  I truly do not know how this will turn out as this one is straight stream of consciousness.  Thanks to all those English teachers that made me write in my journal and even to that professor in college that stole my journal.  I still believe she took some of my thoughts to include in a book.  These are two entities I just don't quite understand how we made it where we stand today.  There are always exceptions to the rule, but I strictly refer to overall.  If I step on toes, uh oh, maybe you are talking to yourself more than I am.  Technology is far better today than yesterday.  Generally, as we grow, we learn and get smarter, so what is happening in education?  I just don't get it.  It seems, we as people, just don't want to go further.  Where is the struggle, the perseverance?  It seems if we don't get it right the first time, we quit or just want the answer.  I can imagine educators drooled profusely when the computer was introduced.  All the possibilities and how now a student could go to a box to get so much information at the push of a button rather than having to wait for the library to open.  Who would have imagined that most young people use it more often than not for other things, let's just say less educational.  That brings me back to what has happened.  School is the same today as it once was yesterday, so why does it feel that less time is had.  Honestly, if you can't keep up, it may not be the system's fault but a form of weeding out.  Remedial courses within college are at an all-time high, and many believe that is the reason students are dropping out because they have to pay for classes that do not earn credit.  I am a firm beliver in the Ten Thousand Hour Rule, but that scares many away.  Greatness, Smart, Prodigy, ect is hard.  It is not easy.  Why has easy become an expectation?  With no rhyme or reason, that brings me to something my father-in-law mentioned to me once that I never forgot and often think about: what does it mean when older churches still owe a mortgage?  I don't know if I want to share too much into this as my PR person has warned me.  I will try to keep it top-surface.  The Church should model.  It should model whatever behavior is acceptable.  It does not matter the religion.  I am sure examples have popped into your head without going into them.  If certain things are continuously arising, there is an obvious problem.  And as we have seen in the history of church, things will be done in an effort to correct those things.  I am sure by now, I have touched some nerves, maybe even teetering on judging.  I challenge that I have called no one wrong or condemned anyone.  I simply pondered a question.  That brings me back to education.  Should something be done?  Will education get better?  Is education modeling the church, or is the church modeling education?  Is there even a problem?  I will say this, a lot of people in both entities are making a lot of money, usually top level.  Do you have something new or a new revolutionary program or test that will change the entire system?  If you do, know the right person, and you could get paid.  Now, there is accountability, hence the ending of programs, but what about the spent money.  Or even more important, those that were supposed to benefit, who maybe did not.  This analogy seems to fit well.  Bentleys are really nice cars and very expensive, but to hand the keys to a toddler and expect them to take care of this valued item would be very irresponsible and downright looney.  It is shown, a better method is to let that toddler grow, start with an old car, and gradually teach.  That system is pretty proven, so why reinvent the wheel?  Maybe education should get back to what was working rather than paying for the next new system.  Back to my churches, after 30 years, it is time to start the fire and get an eagle to fly high above.  If it is not close, it may be ok to ask why.  If it is really far away, you may need to jump in the passenger's seat with that toddler to scare yourself straight.  These two items are important to me as I believe they can answer a lot of other questions.  If this is the first time you have read my blog, I thank you, but more importantly, I challenge you to challenge you.  If you feel you may never read another of my blogs, I still thank you because we are now connected.  At least vent in a comment as I welcome all commentary.

My Happy Place Fishing

One of my Godsons went fishing yesterday, and I know it is one of his most favorite things to do.  I realized I have never gone fishing with him.  That led me to think about the change of a relationship.  I know most can relate.  What do you do when you have a relationship with a person; then it all changes - it never seems to go back to the way it was.  I know parents experience this as kids grow.  Some yearn for the infant stage when their babies need them for everything.  Some hate the feeling of seeing their child leave the nest.  Others can relate through a best friend, maybe through high school, but when graduation happens, the relationship is never the same.  I have a few of these, and I can honestly say, I miss them.  I miss some of the open conversations or being able to just be yourself.  Even now, I have a few people, who may have used to be friends, that won't even return my call or email.  I can say it truly sucks.  What about family?  How about that favorite aunt or uncle, and as time passes, the calls get fewer, and then there is no communication.  This blog has truly opened some doors within my soul, I must have locked so tightly, I forgot they were there.  I find I don't let go as easily anymore.  I still try to reach out every now and then even when I know there will be no return on the other end.  I always figured when people get to that point, the soul of the person, maybe I once knew, no longer exists.  My dad has a theory that if they owe you money, you just paid that much to get rid of the problem.  No matter how you see it, the moments that were shared will always be remembered and sometimes even longed for.  I always tell one of my sisters when I pass, I do not want her crying because if she is, she did not take advantage of the time we had to share.  I think about my grandfather all the time and how his passing pushed me to be greater.  I don't believe people look down from heaven, but I do think he would be proud as I try to continue some of the traits he possessed.  Through me, he continues to live.  Some relationship endings we can't control; others we can.  Everyday, or maybe every week or month, I try to challenge myself to maintain relationships because those people mean that much to me.  Don't get me wrong, I do have some relationshps that I have ended as they were headed nowhere.  If you have ever had someone hold you down, you will understand what I mean.  If you have been a person to hold others down, this may be foreign.  Back to my Godson, I can imagine him just sitting there without a care in the world.  When he is in a happy place, it is one of the most enjoyable things to see.  Like that great relationship, when in the middle, it can be one of the happiest places to be.  I challenge all to find that happy place in the people you value most.

You Mean That Much To Me

What a Saturday.  To keep it short and simple.  Make sure you take time out today to tell the ones that matter the most, how much they mean to you.  If you need some help or encouragement, think about who may no longer be with you that you wish you could still share moments.  Here's one of mine - D.A.
Make it a great weekend.

Who Wants To Hear The Truth?

I so love and appreciate each of my 3 Godkids.  They are all different but so special to me individually.  I still remember 1 had a slow drag when he was learning how to crawl, and now he is young trackstar.  Funny - since his dad was SLOW.  1 is growing so much.  Everytime I see a picture, it is a reminder of how fast time flies.  1 is a man that I watch closely because he is showing me so much.  The world sees one thing, and I still see ALL of what's inside of him.

So many people have responded to me regarding my blog and expressed how proud they are.  I truly appreciate all the support but can't express how much they all mean to me.  I had one tell me how much he appreciates how I am not just a "yes man".  Those that interact with me, know that just is not me.  I like to call it as I see it.  Makes for some tough moments at home, but each day, I am learning how to filter.  The reality is the truth is not always the most appropriate thing to express.  Do you really want the truth?  No, do you really want to know the truth?  The truth of what someone thinks.  What if it is not what you wanted to hear?  What if it does not prove your point?  I fall victim to it too.  If you read yesterday's post, the truth is I am horrible with Theorems and Proofs within Geometry.  But please don't tell me I suck in Geometry as like most, I am easily offended.  But it is the truth.  So maybe the questions are not really about truth but more about what we don't want to hear.  If the truth is what we want to hear, that doubles the validity.  For example, if everyday, someone said you were beautiful, by the following year, you may begin to wonder why you are not yet on the cover of some fashion magazine.  A popular one is that great singer in church.  Everyone has told them how great they sound, and everyone is clamoring to be the next Bey.  But what if they really are not that great.  See American Idol when they are auditioning - some are horrible.  Why did their friends and family lie to them like that?  Makes for some great laughs, but there are real people that may have hurt feelings or crushed dreams.  What if those family and friends maybe have said, maybe you need another year to prepare for the moment of Idol rather than saying how great he/she may be.  I am not a huge fan of "what ifs," but "what ifs" make for great conversation.  Back to all those supporters of me blogging, please spare my feelings.  I honestyly felt my blog yesterday was not as good as the one the day before.  I felt yesterday, I did not end up where I thought I was headed.  No one said it was great.  They just said it was great that I was consistently writing.  Woohoo - those people spared my feelings.  They did not allow me to make a fool of myself on Idol.  They encouraged me to keep writing.  I may never be ready, and this blog may never really take off as you see with so many others.  But I can honestly say it feels good.  That's where we must go with that beautiful person or that great church singer.  Feel good for you doing or being what you think.  Every now and again, sing something truly awful and see if those around you tell you the truth.  Mess up your make-up or don't quite do your hair, to see what results.  "Good" can be subjective, but what is truth?  Remember, try to stay honest but spare those feelings.  Have an awesome weekend and do something really fun.  Feel free to share some of those great moments you make this weekend.

Blame It On Geometry

I would like to start off thanking all the people in my life that stay consistent.  Relationships you can count on are priceless.
Today, I would like to share something I know we have all experienced - that moment where you are completely lost.  For some, it comes in a meeting, where information is being presentented, and there is a chance you may have to chime in with input.  The only problem is you have no clue of a relevant answer.  For students, and I have been there, it may come in a math class.  I remember loving math, and then one day Geometry happened.  I still to this day do not understand Proofs and Theorems.  Well, let me be a bit more specific.  I do not understand how to apply them to the steps of an algebraic equation.  What's funny is Algebra was my favorite part of math.  Back to the point, what do you do when there is a chance you may be called on?   Do you begin to formulate a solution that at least sounds intelligent even if it does not address the question?  Do you try to raise your hand and agree with someone else - often times just adding something to what they have already said?  That is a good one as it often buys you some time as surely you will not be called upon without others having to add more input.  If driving, do you just keep going - hoping eventually you will see something you recognize - or call someone?  To go a step further, what if you are called?  I have been called and remember sweat dropping from my underarms, and I know I used deo.  I went with a long, "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, well..."  I can laugh now, but in the moment, I was terrified.  What are we so afraid of?  Looking stupid.  Not living up to our peers.  Just being embarrassed as not being prepared, despite truly just not understanding.  Whatever may be the decision, own it.  I own that Geometry is my worst subject.  Funny thing is as many times as I have expressed that to people, no one has ever offered to help me truly understand.  My teacher - Mr. Smith - was his name was truly understanding.  Did he help me?  He tried but in the end, no understanding.  As a hard worker, wasn't a disruption in class - at least not normally - I eventually passed.  But that knowledge, or lack of, hurt later on.  Not bad, but I always knew I would stuggle when those concepts were mentioned, and I had to compensate by doing better on other areas.  What I have learned is we all have those stumps, but even more importantly, what about all the other things we actually know.  Secondly, those things we have learned by many hours of explanation by someone who took time to work us through our lack of knowledge should be applauded.  They could actually help us understand.  So the next time you are lost if called upon, own it.  I can't promise the outcome will always be positive but see if you can find that person to help.  Also, be that person to help someone understand something that has them completely stumped.  If you can't afford that response - I am a realist - so I understand.  The piggy-back approach is pretty good.  Also, try to respond first and pose a bit of a question.  However the situation ends, walk away knowing what you don't know.  Hopefully, you will one day truly understand.  In my case, not knowing Geometry that well has helped me become a better teacher, debater, etc.  I can go on and on and on trying to help someone understand even if they never understand and eventually walk away calling me annoying.  Oh well - blame it on Geometry.

The Line

Blogging is more terifying than I thought.  I have asked several about how to be careful and such.  I have even hired a PR person to ensure I keep things the way they should be for me.  She reminded that I write for myself and not others.  Quick side note - one of my Godkids was injured yesterday and had a concussion.  He is fine now and good to go.  Always thankful when young people are allowed to be just that - go out and have fun, godson.  I was listening to something today, and the speaker was discussing staying away from the line.  By line, he meant things that can tempt you or weak areas.  For example, it is not wise for a recovering alchoholic to go into a bar.  He/she has not yet crossed the line, but he/she is approaching the line.  The speaker encouraged staying as far away from the line as possible.  As I pondered what was said, I questioned, why is it so fun to get close to the line.  I guess fun may be the wrong word for every situation, but maybe exciting or thrilling.  As I have gotten older, I have noticed it is far less exhilerating to approach the line as the older one seems to get, the greater the cost.  At this point in my life, I just hate to lose - anything.  At this point, many ideas are flying around such as some shoes, a favorite cd, $10, etc., but I am actually talking about things a tad greater such as families, marriages, relationships, etc.  I genuinely send prayers out to spouses approaching the line and hope they remember the cost.  Regret is awful in these situations as it is often said if I had to do again, I may do differently.  Before the line is approached, we have an opportunity to do it differently.  On that note, take a moment before approaching the line to consider the cost.